in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
