She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
