who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
