I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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