Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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