Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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