Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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