Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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