Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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