Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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