finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
