Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
