I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
