Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
How's work?
Spinning.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize