I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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