420 ftw
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
