Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...

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(732): View more from New Jersey

her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives

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(847): View more from Illinois

HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO

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(954): View more from Florida

it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.

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(904): View more from Florida

You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.

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(813): View more from Florida

Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!

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(504): View more from Louisiana

You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything

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