Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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