week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
they're like a gay fantastic four
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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