How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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