I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
