meet me or not, i'm out of control
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
