the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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