I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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