I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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