My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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