I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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