Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
