they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
