Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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