Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
