she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she peed on how many people?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
