their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
