he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
