I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
