oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Randomize
