Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
