goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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