Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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