I'm drive I can fine osifer
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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