i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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