So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
