I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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