Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
