I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
