I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
