I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
