Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
