well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
