so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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