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• (408): View more from California

  My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable

  (818): View more from California

  Freshman in high school? Just your type

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• (619): View more from California

  He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.

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• (559): View more from California

  the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.

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• (518): View more from New York

  how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago

  (404): View more from Georgia

  so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Her vagina smelled like chicken

  (1-605): View more from South Dakota

  why do you say that

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  chicken smells like everything

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.

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• (805): View more from California

  I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.

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• (627): View more from California

  Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?

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