People with herpes should wear stickers.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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