I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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