Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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