..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
