It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
