The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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