I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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