I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
