He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
