Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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