I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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