I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
