Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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