one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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