you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
